I posted a poll in AKML. *whistle* Eyes Like Yours: Sequel? o No. Don’t you dare write another crappy fic! Sequel or NOT! o Yes. Si vous plait. Write a SenHana sequel and called it Hairs Like Yours! o Oh oh… what about a MakiSen sequel and you could call it Mole Like Yours? o Seriously, write a SenRu sequel and let's torture Akira some more. Let Kaede die! Mwahahaha!!! o Ok, what about this time around, we torture Kaede and let Akira die? Ooohh… * rub hand * o Write a SENRU sequel and LET them LIVE happily ever after… TOGETHER! * just in case Anduril has some twisted plot up the sleeve * To vote, please visit the following web page: Click and Vote ****//**** posted by -anduril- 1:50 AM . . .
Eyes Like Yours Criticism: This is where I criticise my own ficcie, and oh dear… I am my worst critic! 1. OOC. Yes. I do have problem with OOCness in this fic. Firstly, I have a certain definition of how Sendoh and Rukawa should act. I believe both of them were pretty much in character during their time in Kanagawa. But as the story continued… well, when the setting had switch to Karafuto, it felt so out of place. And personally, I kinda feel Sendoh especially, had become OOC. It sounds like he is this whiny teenager that just didn't seemed to fit in. Well, in other consideration, he could act like that because he * is * out of place, and he definitely don't fit in. But still, since he was so fricking confident in the beginning, and to have him helpless in some of the bleak situations, I just feel the contradiction might have ruin it for me. 2. Continuity. I wrote this fic in one go, most of the time. Took about a month to lay the important foundation, and I sometimes switched between editing a particular chapter and writing new part. The process can be quite confusing sometimes, because I have to keep track on what I am doing. The problem with continuity arise when I posted a new chapter each time. I need to explain a certain behaviour, or describe a certain action. I usually concentrating in editing my fic one chapter at a time. And when I realised there's something missing, I tend to write it in, without realising I might have done it in the previous chapter. So, I believe there are some redundancy in this fic. And it might be obvious for somebody who read the fic in one go. Not to mention some chapters kinda started awkwardly. A chapter could a lone-standing chapter, and it could continue to the next one. My fic kinda jumbled between these two types. Totally mushed up. 3. The Story Well… I was kinda wondering about the story. I mean, of course, I never read this type of story being attempted in the SD world before. Hence, my novel attempt. If there is any similarity, well, I wasn't aware of any. It cannot be help since the fandom had existed quite a while. Trust me, plagiarism wasn't my intention. And all the ideas and words came from my mind. Back to the story. I believe the Kanagawa part was sweet, really nice, it's just a simple situation. Then, when it shifted to Karafuto, it gets darker. It was like… I don't know. Some people might feel cheated with this progress. They might have felt I should have warned them regarding the change of mood. For me anyway, I was also wondering at one point in this story… should I shift everything to Karafuto? Then, I think about it, it was like… I wrote one whole chapter regarding Kaichic, and he didn't even appear? He has to appear, just as simple as that. Hence, the whole shift in the story occurred because of that. 4. Pace. Twenty-one chapters + 3 parts. That's a lot. At one point in this fic, esp part 12, I just feel like I'm dragging this. I don't know, I think I am action-orientated person. So, to feel myself being dragged… it's just.. ok, boring. Lol! I could also be the lack of mood in my part, or somebody would like to call it writer's block. But yeah, even I was scared with the amount of words I had typed. My goodness! 5. Grammar. Yes. There are some mistakes. And yes, I was kinda aware of it. And yes, sorry for that. English is not my first language, Bad English is. :p 6. Language. I am aware it does get a little poetic towards the end, as opposed to the beginning when the language was mostly descriptive. I was thinking, well, Sendoh's changing. He is one dynamic character I love to portray. He's growing up, mentally and physically. He'd been in a relationship, he's been through death and survived, he got to experience things probably only his father could ever imagine. He's maturing and his view on life changes gradually. That's why I supposed, as much as I would love to write in abstract way in the beginning, I know I have to refrain myself just because I'm hoping readers could see the changes. Or I'm just growing up over the past six months and getting mushier! :p And those Russians… okay, I admit it! I'm suck at Russians! The language is quite difficult to understand (for me anyway…), hence, the lack of Russian words in this fic. Besides, I'm not too sure if those people in Karafuto speak pure Russians, cos I suspect they have some other sort of dialect in which I never heard of, so I couldn't do anything. Sorry ne! ^_^ ***endofcritique*** Man... if you still reading this... well... it feels good to be able to let it out,ne? posted by -anduril- 10:19 PM . . .
Looking at all the fan-made arts, and to some extent... Inoue-sensei's art, I had decided that... Rukawa Kaede doesn't exist!. duh! lmao! Ok, I know he doesn't exist. and to tell you the truth, I also don't want him to exist, cos it will shattered the image I had on him in real life. I'm talking from the aeshetic point of view. Inoue's illustration was the nearest manga character that I seen reflected the reality. He doesn't draw them in typical big, glassy eye anime. His character that is nearest to the anime-style is Fujima, ya know, big blue eyes, classic feminine look. while Rukawa.... As his most beautiful character, he was drawn in such a realistic way that people can actually believe he exist. That flowing hair, I had hair as that, and yes, it does cover my eyes, and yes, it's so damm hard to style it cos it's just seems to have life on its own. That eyes... it's kinda an almond-shape eyes, familiar to the oriental look, yet, it's really unique in a sense it's only belong to Rukawa. That pale skin, I'm not surprise. It's not really healthy, but I did see some people with skin as pale as his. Hence... my perception that Rukawa, at least physically, could really exist. Then again... as much as Rukawa looks.. should I say, normal? From certain pictures, and certain moves, certain view, nope. There is no way somebody as... beautiful as this really really exist. Nope. cos he looks so, so... inviting. Gorgeous. Just perfect. Man! Blame Crystal, three BH+H chapters and I'm bambling like lurve-sick teenager. hehehe.... posted by -anduril- 5:52 PM . . .
I'm posting my drabble here, all for the sweet Valentine's! ^_^ Drabble- Valentine. “Do you think St Valentine exist?” “Kaede…He’s part of history.” Akira explained to his beloved. “He was beheaded by the King because he united a couple, a marriage against their Rulers.” “Do you think he’s willing unite us?” Akira understood the course of this conversation. Their relationship hadn’t really been beds of roses. Some people from the society had looked down on them, and they could be downright nasty. It made Kaede sad sometimes. “I don’t need St Valentine to do that.” He put his hand on his lover’s heart. “For we already united, in heart and soul… as one.” -theend- 100 Words. posted by -anduril- 12:32 AM . . .
I want to say something, but now I forgot. hehehehe.... So anyway, I'm listening to Call me Call me, Cowboy Bebop's sountrack by Yoko Kanno. Man! And people thought only the boys could write songs like this, by Yoko Kanno, being the genius SHE is... yes, he is a she, proved everyone's wrong. It was so rock, with lyrics that one can found meaning to it. Which surprise me cos well... I haven't listen much to a Japanese that tried to write in English, and she managed to do it just fine. Cool! posted by -anduril- 1:08 AM . . .
